|
 Ideal Husband, An (1999)
IMDB rating: 6.70
Plot: Sir Robert Chiltern is a successful Government minister, well-off and with a loving wife. All this is threatened when Mrs Cheveley appears in London with damning evidence of a past misdeed. Sir Robert turns for help to his friend Lord Goring, an apparently idle philanderer and the despair of his father. Goring knows the lady of old, and, for him, takes the whole thing pretty seriously.
|
Directors: Parker Oliver
Actors: Everett Rupert,Northam Jeremy,Wood John,Vaughan Peter,Pullen Ben,Phillips Neville,Grace Nickolas,Russell Beale Simon,Comedy,Romance,
I need some real advice on marriage issues!?
I’m not married and am obviously not ready to be. When I was a teenager one of my parents died which really changed my views on marriage and how it’s not necessarily a fairy tale. I know how badly it can end. I’m afraid if I get married something like that will happen to my husband or me and if we have kids it will be even worse because they’ll go through what I went through.
I’m also afraid to have kids because I’ve seen how kids can change a relationship and how if the wife can’t get the weight from the pregnancy off it can cause a lot of friction. The husband is less attracted to his wife and the wife is less attracted to her husband because of his attitude towards her. I’ve seen how the heat disappears and you’re basically just staying together for the kids. Not an ideal situation!
What are your experiences? Am I crazy? I’m definitely scared! Mature answers please. Thanks!
you can’t put your life on hold thinking of the what ifs in life. i came from a family of divorce and i to lost a parent when i was a teenager. If my parents or even for that matter your parents had that train of thought you nor i would be here. we can die at anytime for any reason but life is worth living. I can honestly say that i love being married to my husband and wouldn’t trade in my kids for anything. and if one of them died tomorrow it would be very difficult but at least i had them for that time and i got to be there wife/mother for that short time. Now as far as loosing the weight after pregnancy sometimes it comes of quickly and sometimes not so much but if he is a true husband(friend) then all will be well. don’t hold back on your life there is so much out there to experience enjoy it let the pieces fall where they may
| Feb 04, 2010
First if all…. stop living in the future. Live for today. You must accept what ever hand that life deals you. You’ll miss out on an awful lot, if you’re afraid to take the plunge. I’ve been married for 40 years, same woman. We have had our ups and downs. Even had we been single, it would probably have been the same. Three kids, all 4 yrs apart. My wife was only 97 lbs when we married ( 5′2"). She kept 5 lbs from each child, over a period of 12 years. She now weighs about 125lbs., I believe. No one wants to lose anyone they love, but at least they did love, and had someone love them, while they was still alive. I’d hate to die and know that no one ever loved me enough to be with me at the end.
I agree, marriage isn’t for every one. I believe you should truly love the one you marry. It’s easier to forgive mistakes , if you love them… Marriages are like apples….some are great, some are good, some are bitter and some are just damn bad and rotten…. It’s up to the two people involved to take care of their apples…
c c | Feb 04, 2010
Yo are right — YOU are NOT ready for marriage. You have WAY too many false ideas, old wives tales, and even down right lies about marriage to be a loving person.
If you got married tomorrow, your marriage would likely be a"Self fulfilling prophecy". it WILL go bad because YOU expect it to. You will in fact sabotage your own marriage, just so that you can satisfy that subconscious desire to say, "SEE!!! I was right!"
Unless you both die in a car accident, together, your marriage WILL end badly. ONE of you IS going to die before the other one, and there WILL be grief and sadness. The question is not WILL there be, but what will YOU do when it happens. You have a choice — fuss and cry and get depressed and end up clinically crazy, or understand that is the way life ends, pick yourself up, and get on with things for the sake of those still living!
And children DO change a marriage — they make it tougher. as a young married couple, you have no one to shower your love on except each other. But when kids come along, that love has to be split. Unfortunately, what happens is that many people take the "Anything for my kids" attitude — which is absolutely the WORST thing you can do! When kids come along, you MUSt work HARD at your MARRIAGE.
You want to do ANYTHING for your kids? How about preventing THEIR divorces? Your children learn by example — so if you and your husband learn how to work TOGETHER through the rough spots (discipline, money problems, love sharing, etc) then you will teach you kids the same skills. But if you file for divorce, you teach your kids, "When the going gets moderately difficult, the tough cut and run!"
A GREAT marriage takes LOTS of hard, selfless, work on the partnership. ANd when a third (or forth , or fifth) little party comes along, it take MORE work to make your marriage good.
if YOu are not dedicated to the extremes of self-sacrifice and hard work, then you SHOULD NOT get married. But if you TRULY love someone, then you WILL put forth this effort (and so will he),. You WILL understand that the "bed of roses" that is marriage actually has huge honking THORNS in it! You work around them, acknowledge them, and conquer them — or your marriage fails.
Since YOU have this half-baked ideas about what marriage is, you have got a LONG way to go before you can even consider a loving relationship, and then even further before you should consider marriage — and then 30-50 years of actually WORKING to make that marriage good.
The heat does NOT disappear if you keep stoking the fire! YOU needs to seek counseling NOW, before you even consider dating.
Gary B | Feb 04, 2010
Your are not ready to get married, when you are you will feel it in your heart and nothing else will matter. Listen to your heart.
david l | Feb 04, 2010
To live is to risk. What’s that old CW song, "…I could have missed the pain but I’d of had to miss the dance…" Lots of people get fat and their spouses still love them anyway. Go for it, take it on the chin, get up, go for it, take it on the chin, go for it…
tuisson | Feb 04, 2010